The Spider Lily Turns into a Chrysanthemum
Ichimaku: Chapter 11
By the time they were ready to go downstairs, the bedroom looked as though they had spent far longer getting dressed than either of them actually had.
The bed remained unmade behind them. Yoshino’s discarded clothes were folded, mostly over the back of a chair, while Shouma’s were nowhere to be seen because, naturally, he had already put everything away.
Yoshino stood in front of the full-length mirror, giving herself one final inspection.
She had chosen a black jumpsuit with a halter neckline that left her shoulders bare, fitted neatly through her waist before falling into long, tailored legs. Black open-toed heels gave her a little extra height, although she was still noticeably shorter than the man standing behind her. Small diamond studs glittered beside thin silver hoops at her ears, and she had swept her hair up into a clip, leaving a few loose pieces framing her face and exposing the back of her neck.
Shouma stood beside her in what was practically a uniform whenever Renji expected everyone to gather formally. Black slacks, black dress shoes, a crisp white button-up shirt, and a black tie.
Yoshino looked at their reflections together.
She had seen them standing beside each other hundreds, probably thousands of times over the years. She had engraved all the shadows and reflections of them together at train stations, Renji’s house, restaurants, celebrations, hallways, kitchens, parking lots, cars…
But she had never seen this before.
Their hands were clasped together between them, and it wasn’t by accident. Not because Shouma was dragging her away from something stupid. And it wasn’t because Yoshino had grabbed him without thinking. They were simply holding hands as a romantic couple. Her fingers rested naturally between his.
Yoshino stared at their reflection for another moment and Shouma noticed, “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
“So are you.”
“I’m looking at you Yoshino.”
Yoshino’s eyes slid toward him through the mirror. Her lips parted and she slowly turned her head, “Who are you?”
Shouma’s mouth twitched.
“I’m serious. What did you do with Shouma?”
“I’m still me… I just get to do this…” He stepped slightly behind her.
Yoshino watched him in the mirror as his free hand settled against her waist. The movement was so natural that for a second she forgot how completely impossible it would have seemed only days ago. His eyes moved over her reflection. Then down to her bare shoulder and then to the exposed skin at the back of her neck.
Yoshino caught the look immediately. Her smile became smaller, “Shouma.”
“Hm?”
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re doing something.”
He leaned down and Yoshino’s breath caught when his lips pressed softly against the back of her neck.
It wasn’t hurried and it wasn’t teasing, either. Just one slow kiss against warm skin.
“You look beautiful.”
Yoshino froze. Her face immediately warmed, and she looked down.
Shouma noticed that too. His hand left her waist, and one finger came beneath her chin. “Don’t.”
He gently tilted her face upward until her eyes met his through the mirror, “Don’t look away.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.”
Yoshino swallowed.
Shouma’s expression softened. “You can feel shy,” he said quietly. “But don’t look away.”
Her eyes remained on his. His thumb brushed lightly beneath her chin. “You are beautiful. Remember that.”
Something in her chest tightened and it wasn’t even the compliment. She had been called beautiful before. Men had told her she was pretty. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Sexy. Whatever word they thought would make her smile at them. None of those words had ever lodged themselves underneath her ribs quite like this.
Because Shouma wasn’t trying to get anything from her. He looked almost annoyed that she didn’t already know it.
Yoshino slowly turned around in his arms.
For a moment, neither spoke. She straightened his tie unnecessarily.
Shouma looked down at her hands. “It’s already straight.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you touching it?”
“Because I want to.”
His eyes lifted to hers. That was another thing that was going to take some getting used to. She could say that now.
Because I want to.
She didn’t have to invent a reason to touch him, and she didn’t have to pretend she was fixing something. She didn’t even have to pull away before somebody noticed. At least not here.
Her palms flattened briefly against his chest, “We need to go downstairs now.”
Shouma nodded, “Yeah, we do.”
Neither moved. Yoshino raised an eyebrow, “Shouma.”
“I’m waiting for you.”
“You’re holding me Shouma.”
“You can still walk.”
“Not when you’re holding my waist.”
“I’ve seen you accomplish more difficult things.”
She narrowed her eyes, “There you are again.”
“What?”
“Talking.”
Shouma stared at her.
Yoshino grinned, “I like it.”
His expression changed slightly. The teasing disappeared. His thumb moved once against her side, “Well get used to it.”
Yoshino’s smile slowly softened. Shouma finally released her and reached for the bedroom door.
“Come on.”
He opened it—
—and Yoshino grabbed him by the belt.
Shouma stopped and his eyes dropped to her hand. Then slowly lifted to her face, “Yoshino.”
“We have to do something first.”
“What?”
She pulled. Shouma took one involuntary step backward. His back met the closed door with a soft thud as Yoshino moved against him. Then she kissed him.
Shouma’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected it.
Not like that.
Yoshino’s hand slid behind his neck while the other disappeared into his hair, pulling him down toward her. Her mouth moved confidently against his, deepening the kiss before he had fully recovered from the surprise.
For perhaps two seconds, Shouma did absolutely nothing. Then his eyes slowly closed and his hands found her waist again. Yoshino felt his fingers tighten against the fabric of her jumpsuit as he kissed her back.
There was still something almost unbelievable about it.
Shouma.
He was kissing her back.
And neither of them knew what to do with the tension between them. His hand slid around the small of her back, bringing her closer. Yoshino smiled against his mouth.
Shouma felt it. He pulled back barely enough to speak, “Are you laughing?”
“No.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You literally smiled.”
“Maybe because I’m falling in love with you, more and more with every passing second Shouma.”
That stopped him. His face was only inches from hers.
For once, she didn’t hide behind a joke, “I’m happy, Shouma.”
He gazed at her gently, “Yeah?”
She nodded, “Yeah.”
His forehead rested briefly against hers, “So am I.”
The words were quiet. Almost embarrassingly sincere coming from him. And somehow that made Yoshino want to kiss him all over again. So, she did. Her fingers curled into his hair as their mouths met again.
This time Shouma was ready for her.
His arm tightened around her waist, and Yoshino felt herself being drawn flush against him. The kiss grew deeper, slower at first, then warmer as all that restraint they had carried around for years began slipping loose between them.
Yoshino had spent so long wondering what kissing Shouma would be like.
She had imagined it when she was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.
Seventeen.
Eighteen.
She had imagined it and immediately gotten angry at herself for imagining it. She had imagined it again anyway. None of those stupid teenage fantasies had included this version of him. The Shouma whose hand remained steady at her waist. This version of him kissing her like he had nowhere else to be. And this version of him who wasn’t afraid of letting her know that he wanted to keep kissing her.
And that was precisely why Yoshino decided she needed to stop. Before neither of them went downstairs. She slowly pulled away, and Shouma followed her.
Yoshino moved back another inch. He followed again.
Her lips curved. Shouma opened his eyes. Yoshino stared at him.
He stared back.
“…What?”
“I’m inching away to stop us from kissing and you keep coming for my lips.”
Shouma’s eyebrows lowered, “Absolutely. Have a problem with that?”
She laughed softly, “Oh my God.”
“Shut up.”
“Shouma…you wanted another kiss.”
“We were already kissing.”
“And then you stopped.”
Yoshino’s grin widened, “You’re cute.”
His face went completely blank.
She leaned forward before he could respond, but instead of kissing his mouth again, she brushed her lips against his cheek. Then closer to his ear.
Shouma went quiet.
“Thank you,” she whispered, “For saying I’m beautiful.”
His hands remained at her waist. Yoshino’s lips hovered near his ear “You’re so handsome that I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
Shouma’s fingers tightened.
“But for now…” She let out a slow breath beside his ear. “We need to go downstairs.”
She began pulling away, but then Shouma caught her face. Yoshino barely had time to inhale before his mouth was on hers again.
This kiss was different. It was immediately and hungry. As if he had finally decided that if she was going to spend the next several hours tormenting him, he was at least going to get something out of it first.
Yoshino made a small sound against his mouth, “Shou…ma.”
That seemed to satisfy him, and he pulled back.
Yoshino’s eyes opened slowly, and she saw Shouma smirking.
He’s actually smirking?
She stared at him in disbelief, “You—”
He kissed her cheek, “That’s for catching me off guard.”
Yoshino blinked. Shouma opened the bedroom door, “Let’s go.”
She remained where she was. He looked back, “What?”
Yoshino pointed at him, “You’re becoming dangerous.”
“I’ve always been dangerous.”
“Not like this, give me a second.” Yoshino fanned herself. “I need to remember we’re about to go see my grandfather.”
Shouma laughed under his breath.
Yoshino immediately looked at him because it wasn’t his usual scoff. It was a real laugh; small, but unmistakable.
She walked toward him, smiling, “I like you like this.”
He held out his hand. Yoshino looked down at it as she slipped her fingers between his. They walked into the hallway together. Halfway toward the stairs, however, Shouma slowed.
Yoshino looked at him, “What?”
His eyes dropped toward their joined hands. Yoshino understood immediately.
Renji was downstairs. And so was the rest of the gumi . People who had known them since they were children were downstairs.
And they hadn’t told Renji yet.
Yoshino looked at their hands too. For a few seconds neither of them moved. Then she slowly loosened her fingers.
Shouma didn’t.
Yoshino looked up, “We said we’d be careful.”
“I know.”
“Shouma.”
“I know.”
Still, he held on another second. His thumb moved once across her knuckles. Finally, reluctantly, he let her go. The absence of his hand felt immediate.
Yoshino made a face, “I don’t like that.”
“Neither do I.”
She looked at him. Again, it was strange hearing him simply say what he felt. No shrug, no sarcastic comment and no pretending from either of them.
“Yoshino, we’ll tell him.”
“Yeah.” Yoshino says sheepishly.
“Eventually.” Shouma looked down the staircase, “Preferably before he figures it out himself.”
Yoshino snorted. “Renji, my gramps? Please. That man is oblivious.”
Shouma gave her a look. “Your grandfather runs a yakuza organization.”
“Yes.”
“He notices everything.”
“Not everything.”
“Yoshino.”
“He still thinks I don’t know where he hides emergency cash in his house.”
“Everyone knows where he hides it.” Shouma shook his head.
From downstairs came a sudden explosion of laughter followed by the unmistakable voice of one of Renji’s men yelling something over the others. Beyond the open windows, Yoshino could smell charcoal and grilled meat drifting in from the garden.
The house was alive, the doors were opening and closing, someone shouting for another case of beer, another person complaining about somebody burning something on the grill.
Yoshino stopped at the top of the stairs.
Shouma took steps back to stand beside her.
She glanced toward him, “So…”
“We act normal” Shouma looked at her.
Yoshino looked back.
Several seconds passed.
She started laughing, “This is way harder than I thought…” Yoshino clasped her face with her hands, trying to rub off the heat from her cheeks, “We have no idea how to act normal around each other.”
“You shoved me against a door five minutes ago.”
Yoshino’s mouth dropped open, “You kissed me back!”
“Didn’t say I was complaining.”
She stared at him. Shouma started down the stairs.
Yoshino hurried after him, “See? This is what I’m talking about.”
“What?”
“You can’t suddenly start saying things like that.”
He glanced over his shoulders, “Why?”
“Because I’m not prepared.”
“For me talking?”
“For you flirting.”
Shouma stopped on the stair beneath her. That put their faces almost level, “I’m flirting?”
“Yes.”
He considered it, “Huh.”
Yoshino stared, “DON’T HUH ME.”
“Didn’t know.”
“You’re doing it ACCIDENTLY?”
“Apparently.”
“That’s worse.”
Shouma smiled. Yoshino pointed at him, “And stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Smiling at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know exactly what you’re doing.”
This time his smile widened “Oh, you’re learning fast.”
A voice suddenly thundered from downstairs.
“YOSHINO!”
Both of them froze.
Renji.
GRAMPS!
Yoshino immediately stepped away from Shouma.
“Yes?!”
“ARE YOU TWO COMING DOWN OR DID YOU FALL OUT A WINDOW?”
Yoshino covered her mouth. Shouma looked toward the ceiling.
“We’re coming!” she shouted.
“THEN COME!”
Yoshino leaned toward Shouma and whispered, “See? Oblivious.”
Shouma murmured, “We’re fucked.”
Yoshino slapped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
Shouma continued down the stairs.
This time Yoshino followed a step behind him.
No holding hands, no touching, no obvious looks. They reached the bottom floor and stepped through the open doors toward the backyard.
Warm evening air washed over them and the garden was crowded.
Men from the gumi stood around long tables covered in platters of food, drinks, bowls, plates, and enough meat to feed three times the number of people actually present. Smoke curled lazily from the grills while conversation and laughter overlapped beneath the fading evening sky. All people Yoshino had known for most of her life.
At the center of it all was Renji.
He spotted them immediately, “There you are.”
Yoshino smiled, “Sorry.”
Renji’s eyes narrowed, “For what?”
She stopped, “…Taking so long?”
Shouma coughed beside her. Yoshino elbowed him discreetly.
Renji looked between them.
Yoshino’s heart jumped. Shouma’s face, however, became perfectly unreadable.
Years of experience, damn Shouma is good at this.
Renji stared another second, then pointed toward the grill, “Come eat before these idiots burn everything.”
Yoshino exhaled, “Okay.” She walked forward and Shouma followed.
As they passed one another, the back of his fingers brushed hers, barely, and nobody would have noticed.
Yoshino did. She looked sideways, however, Shouma was already looking ahead as though nothing had happened.
Her lips threatened to curve.
Act normal. ACT NORMAL.
Right. That was going to be a problem. Because for the first time in years, Yoshino didn’t have to wonder whether Shouma wanted her. Now she knew. And judging by the way his fingers quietly found hers again beneath the edge of the table when nobody was looking, Shouma didn’t seem particularly interested in letting her forget it.
