The Spider Lily Turns into a Chrysanthemum

Ichimaku: Chapter 5

The izakaya was nearly empty by the time Yoshino and Shouma finished their meal. The older woman who had been serving them was clearing the neighboring tables, occasionally glancing over as Yoshino continued talking to Shouma about something that had happened during her last week in Tokyo. He listened with his elbow resting on the table, offering the occasional comment while she struggled to finish her story without laughing. When they finally stood to leave, Yoshino thanked the woman and called another goodbye to the bartender. Shouma settled the bill and followed her toward the entrance, giving the staff a brief nod before holding the door open.
“Come back again!” the older woman called.
“We will!” Yoshino answered, turning around with a smile.
Outside, Ponto-chō had grown considerably quieter. Most of the restaurants had closed, although a few bars remained open farther down the narrow alley. The lanterns above the entrances cast a warm glow across the pavement, and the occasional burst of laughter drifted from the establishments still entertaining their last customers.
Yoshino stretched her arms overhead as they walked toward the kei truck. “God, I’m full.”
“You ate enough for three people.”
“Oh, shut up. You weren’t exactly holding back.”
“You ordered more after you said you were finished.”
“Dessert doesn’t count.”
“According to who?”
“Me. Keep up.”
Shouma gave a quiet snort and continued walking beside her. Yoshino had been in an unusually good mood throughout dinner, talking freely with the staff and making observations about everything from the food to the ridiculous prices she’d encountered in Tokyo. He hadn’t seen her this relaxed in a long time. When they reached the truck, Yoshino dug the keys out of her pocket and tossed them toward him.
“You drive.”
He caught them. “Why?”
“Because I don’t feel like it.”
“You drove here.”
“And now you can drive back. That’s how sharing works.”
She opened the passenger door before he could respond, leaving Shouma standing beside the truck with the keys in his hand. He shook his head and climbed behind the wheel. Yoshino had barely fastened her seat belt when an enormous yawn escaped her. Shouma turned to look at her, his expression somewhere between disbelief and mild disgust.
“What?” she asked.
“You sound like a dying animal.”
“A lion, actually.”
“Sure.”
He started the engine, but before he could pull away from the curb, Yoshino turned toward him.
“Hey, do we have to pick up your motorcycle early tomorrow?”
Shouma paused with his hand on the gearshift. He knew that particular tone.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t feel like sleeping yet.”
“You were just yawning.”
“So?”
“So go to sleep.”
“No. I want to stay up. We haven’t done that in forever.”
He looked at her.
Yoshino leaned back against the seat, apparently considering her options. “We could get something to drink and hang out at your place. I haven’t even seen it yet.”
“You’re nineteen.”
“I know how old I am.”
“Apparently not.”
“Oh, come on. We used to stay up all night when we were younger. Remember when we watched the sunrise because neither of us wanted to go home?”
“I remember you falling asleep before it came up.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what’s the point?”
Yoshino looked at him as though the answer should have been obvious. “I haven’t spent time with you since the last time you passed by to visit me in Tokyo, idiot.”
Shouma returned his attention to the windshield. The motorcycle shop didn’t close until one the following afternoon, and there was nothing particularly urgent waiting for him at home. He could already imagine how miserable he’d feel in the morning, but he reached for the gearshift anyway.
“I’ve got until one to pick it up.”
Yoshino immediately straightened. “Seriously?”
“After that, I’d have to wait until Monday.”
“Then we’ll wake up at noon.”
“You’ll wake up at noon.”
“I’ll wake you up too.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
She laughed and settled more comfortably into her seat. “All right, convenience store first. Then your place.”
Shouma pulled onto the main road. For a while, Yoshino watched Kyoto pass through the passenger window. The city had a different character at night, especially away from the crowded streets surrounding the entertainment districts. She had always liked Kyoto, although most of her childhood memories were connected to visits with her grandfather or outings with Tsubaki and Shouma. Now that she would eventually be attending university here, the familiar streets felt different.
“You know,” she said, “I think I’ve laughed more tonight than I did during my last month in Tokyo.”
Shouma glanced at her. “That bad?”
“Not exactly. I had fun sometimes.” She rested her elbow against the door. “It’s just exhausting having to think about how people are going to react to everything you do.”
“Sounds like Tokyo.”
“You’d know.”
He didn’t answer, although the corner of his mouth moved slightly.
Yoshino looked at him. “I missed this.”
“What?”
“Being able to act like an idiot without somebody making it into a whole thing.”
“You’ve always acted like an idiot.”
“Wow. Thanks.”
“No worries, I’ve acted like an idiot too.”
She reached over and shoved his shoulder. He barely moved.
“I’m serious, though,” she continued. “I spent so much time worrying about what people wanted from me that I forgot how nice it is to just do whatever I feel like.”
“Then do what you want.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Not really.”
Yoshino considered that. Shouma had never enjoyed the same freedom she had, despite being the older of the two. Even as a teenager, he’d carried responsibilities that most people their age wouldn’t have understood. Her grandfather trusted him with matters that went well beyond the usual expectations placed on a young member of the Somei-gumi.
She turned toward him again. “Hey, I want you to do something for me.”
“What now?”
“If I start being unreasonable, tell me.”
He gave her a sideways look. “You want me to tell you when you’re being unreasonable?”
“Don’t sound so excited.”
“Just making sure I heard you.”
“I’m serious. Especially if something I want to do is going to cause problems for you with Gramps. I don’t want you getting dragged into trouble because I felt like doing something stupid.”
Shouma kept his eyes on the road. “I can handle Renji.”
“I know you can. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“I know.”
Yoshino watched him for another moment before leaning back. “Good. Then we’re agreed.”
“Until you get mad at me.”
“I won’t get mad.”
“You will.”
She smacked his arm again, earning a low laugh from him.
A few minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store. Yoshino unfastened her seat belt and reached for the door, but Shouma stopped her with a hand on her forearm.
“I’m buying the drinks.”
“I know.”
“And don’t even try to convince the cashier you’re older than what you are.”
Yoshino stared at him. “You make it sound like I do that all the time.”
“You used to do that when we were in highschool. You were never good at acting.”
She rolled her eyes and climbed out.
Inside, the fluorescent lighting was painfully bright after the dim streets of Ponto-chō. Yoshino wandered through the snack aisles while Shouma headed toward the refrigerated drinks. By the time he found her again, she had filled a basket with aloe drinks, chocolate, potato chips, and several packages of gummies.
He looked into the basket.
“We just ate.”
“These are for later.”
“How much later?”
“Whenever I feel like eating them.”
He placed a pack of grapefruit alcoholic seltzers beside the snacks.
Yoshino inspected his selection. “That’s all?”
“For tonight.”
“Boring.”
“Well I’m not getting anymore so deal with it.”
They approached the register, where a young woman with long dark hair was organizing something beneath the counter. She looked up when she heard them. Her expression changed immediately. “Shouma?”
Yoshino glanced at him.
Shouma’s face remained unreadable. “Kanomiya.”
The woman straightened. She was attractive, with carefully applied makeup and a polished appearance that seemed almost excessive for someone working the late shift at a convenience store. “I didn’t know you were back.”
“I live here.”
“Oh.” She gave a small, awkward laugh. “I meant I haven’t seen you around lately.”
“Been busy.”
Yoshino offered a polite smile when the cashier finally glanced in her direction. “Good evening.”
Kanomiya barely acknowledged her before taking the basket.
As she began scanning their purchases, Yoshino noticed the woman’s attention repeatedly returning to Shouma. The transaction proceeded at an unnecessarily slow pace, with Kanomiya occasionally attempting to continue their conversation.
“So, how have you been?”
“Fine.”
“Are you still working with the same people?”
“Yeah.”
“I see.”
She hesitated over the next item, then reached toward the phone beside the register.
Shouma noticed.
“Kanomiya.”
Her hand stopped.
“Can you finish ringing us up?”
The woman’s smile faltered. “Oh. Of course.”
She scanned the remaining items, although her gaze continued to drift toward him.
Shouma took out his wallet.
“And don’t bother asking for my number.”
Yoshino turned her head.
Kanomiya’s cheeks flushed. “I wasn’t—”
“You were.”
The silence that followed was uncomfortable enough that Yoshino briefly considered interrupting, but Shouma spoke again before she could.
“This is Yoshino. She’s with me.”
He said it without hesitation, his attention already returning to the card terminal. Kanomiya looked at Yoshino properly for the first time. Her expression was difficult to read, although the sudden stiffness in her shoulders was unmistakable. Yoshino gave her another polite smile.
The cashier completed the transaction without further conversation. Shouma collected the bag and receipt, thanked her, and headed for the exit.
Yoshino lingered.
“Hey,” she said quietly.
Kanomiya looked up.
“Sorry about that. He’s not very good with words. Apologies.”
The woman appeared startled. Kanomiya’s expression shifted, but Yoshino didn’t wait for a response. “Anyway, have a good night.”
She hurried outside, where Shouma was waiting beside the truck.
“Yoshino.”
She looked up.
“What?”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing important.”
He watched her approach. “You were in there a while.”
“It was only 30 seconds. I was being polite.”
“To Kanomiya?”
“Somebody had to be.”
Shouma opened the driver’s door. “Don’t bother.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’s going to be unpleasant to you regardless.”
Yoshino stopped beside the passenger door. “That’s a pretty shitty thing to say about somebody you know.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Well, I’d rather give her a reason to change her mind than start something over a conversation at a cash register.”
He looked at her for a moment. “You’re Renji’s granddaughter. People are going to have opinions about you before they even meet you.”
“I’m aware.”
“And you’re going to be around me.”
“Unfortunately.”
Shouma gave her a flat look. Yoshino grinned and climbed into the truck. He started the engine, but his eyes shifted toward her once more. “Don’t forget who your family is Yoshino.”
Yoshino became very interested in fastening her seat belt, “OK.”
He exhaled through his nose and pulled out of the parking lot.
The townhouse was about ten minutes away, tucked into a quiet residential neighborhood where narrow streets ran between modern homes built close together. Yoshino leaned forward as Shouma reversed the kei truck into the garage beneath a three-story building.
“Oh, this is nice.”
“Wait until you see the stairs.”
She looked up at the building. “Tsubaki picked this?”
“Yeah.”
“That explains it.”
Shouma switched off the engine and handed her the convenience-store bag before climbing out to retrieve their luggage. At the entrance, he entered a code into the keypad and unlocked the door. The lights came on automatically as they stepped inside.
“Fancy,” Yoshino remarked.
“Shoes off.”
She looked at him. “I know how to enter a house.”
“Just checking.”
“You’ve become such an old man.”
“Somebody has to act like an adult.”
Yoshino slipped off her sandals and followed him into the living area. The first floor was compact but well arranged, with a modern kitchen opening into a small dining space and living room. Most of the furniture was simple, and there were few personal decorations. It was clean, although Yoshino suspected that had more to do with Shouma rarely being home than any particular interest in housekeeping. She headed straight for the refrigerator.
Shouma watched her open it. “Make yourself at home.”
“Thanks.”
She placed the seltzers on an empty shelf, then paused. “Shouma.”
“What?”
“Where’s your food?”
“In the fridge.”
Yoshino slowly turned toward him. “I’m looking in the fridge.”
He walked over and glanced inside. There were several containers of condiments, a package of tofu, some leftover rice, and a few items that appeared to have been purchased individually rather than as part of an actual grocery trip.
“See?” he said.
Yoshino stared at him. “Are you kidding me?”
“What?”
“You can’t live on sauces and rice.”
“I eat out.”
“Every day?”
“Most days.”
She closed the refrigerator and folded her arms. “We’re going grocery shopping tomorrow bro.”
“Fine.”
“And I’m cooking you breakfast.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
Shouma looked at her for a moment before picking up the luggage. “Stairs are narrow. Watch your feet.”
Yoshino followed him toward the staircase. “Are you seriously living here by yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“And Tsubaki arranged all of this?”
“Renji told her to find me somewhere to stay.”
“Are you paying for it?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Shouma glanced over his shoulder. “Why good?”
“Because you shouldn’t be spending your own money on a place Gramps expects you to live in for work. Also, I know you hate owing people anything.”
“Especially Tsubaki.”
Yoshino laughed. “She’s not that bad.”
“To you.”
“She’s nice when she wants to be.”
“That’s the problem.”
They reached the second floor, where a narrow hallway separated three rooms. Shouma indicated the bedroom on the left, which had a small attached bathroom, then gestured toward the rooms opposite it.
“Workout room. Storage.”
Yoshino peered into the workout room. “You actually have equipment in here.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
She grinned. “What’s upstairs?”
“Main bedroom.”
He continued up the staircase, and Yoshino followed him to the third floor. The uppermost level was considerably more spacious than the rest of the house. A large bedroom occupied most of the floor, with an attached bathroom and closet. Sliding glass doors opened onto a small terrace furnished with a table and two chairs.
Yoshino stepped outside.
“Oh, I like this.”
From the terrace, she could see the rooftops of neighboring houses and the distant glow of the city beyond them. The night air was cooler up here, and the residential streets below were nearly silent. Shouma stood in the doorway. “Furniture hasn’t arrived yet.”
She turned around. “What do you mean?”
“Bed’s coming next week.”
“So you’re sleeping downstairs?”
“For now.”
Yoshino looked around the room again. “Tsubaki really went all out.”
“Apparently.”
“She’s probably going to ask for pictures once everything’s finished.”
“She’s already asked.”
Yoshino laughed.
They headed back downstairs, leaving Yoshino’s suitcase in the second-floor bedroom and Shouma’s duffel in the smaller room across the hall. On the way down, Yoshino decided to skip a couple of steps. Her sandal caught awkwardly against the edge of one, and she pitched forward before she could regain her balance.
Shouma caught her around the waist.
“Watch it.”
Yoshino grabbed his shoulders. “I’m fine!”
“Then use the stairs properly.”
He waited until she had both feet firmly planted before releasing her.
“You’re starting to sound like Gramps.”
“Good. Maybe you’ll listen.”
“Doubt it.” She continued downstairs at a normal pace, although she couldn’t resist glancing back at him. “You used to do worse things than that.”
“I still do.”
“Exactly. Hypocrite.”
He followed her into the kitchen.
Yoshino settled at the dining table while Shouma retrieved two grapefruit seltzers from the refrigerator. He opened one and placed it in front of her before sitting opposite.
She raised her can. “To Kyoto.”
Shouma tapped his against hers.
“And to you finally getting a decent refrigerator full of food.”
“Drink your drink.”
Yoshino laughed and took a sip.
They spent the next hour talking about the following day. Shouma needed to retrieve his motorcycle, and Yoshino wanted to replace her phone before they started working together on Monday. She also insisted on visiting a supermarket, despite his repeated assurances that he was perfectly capable of feeding himself. By the time she finished her second drink, her cheeks had turned noticeably pink.
Shouma noticed when she began leaning forward with her chin resting against her hand, watching him across the table. “What?”
“Nothing.” Yoshino gazed at him with drunk eyes, “mmmhehe mmmmhehe”
“Then stop staring.”
“I’m thinking of how cute you areeeee.”
“Mm.”
Yoshino narrowed her eyes. “Don’t “mm” me. You know, you’re getting really comfortable insulting me.”
“I didn’t insult you, I’m just disagreeing with you. And anyways, the cute one is you.” Shouma took another drink.
Yoshino studied the room for a moment before looking back at him. “Hey, when I start university next year, I should just move in here.”
He lowered his can. “Okay.”
She blinked. “Wait. Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re not going to argue?”
“Why would I?”
Yoshino sat up straighter. “I don’t know. I figured you’d say something about needing your own space.”
“I’ve got plenty.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Shouma leaned back in his chair. “If you get your own place, Renji will have me checking on you every day anyway. Might as well save myself the trip.”
Yoshino laughed. “Wow. This is going to be so much fun!” She looked at him, but he’d already returned his attention to his drink.
“I’ll tell Tsubaki about it too.”
Shouma grimaced.“How about you don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to hear what she has to say about it.”
Yoshino’s grin widened. “Oh, she’s going to have a lot to say.”
“Eaxctly why I said don’t.”
“She’s going to be thrilled.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of…”
Yoshino laughed and stood from the table. “All right. I’m getting another drink.”
Shouma looked at the two empty cans in front of her. “No.”
She stopped. “Excuse me?”
“You’ve had enough.”
“I’m fine.”
“Your face is red.”
“My face gets red all the time. Maybe it’s my hair that makes me look even more red than I am.”
“Yeah. When you’re drunk.”
Yoshino waved him off and walked toward the refrigerator. She had barely opened the door when Shouma appeared beside her and pushed it closed. “Water.”
“Shouma.”
“Drink the damn water.”
She glared at him. He stared back.
“You’re being annoying,” she informed him.
“I’ll call Hotei right now to come get your ass.”
“I want another grapefruit.”
“You can have one tomorrow.”
“Dude just let me LIVE.”
“Go sit down, NOW.”
Yoshino looked at him for another moment, then suddenly reached around his arm and pulled the refrigerator open. Before he could stop her, she’d grabbed another can and cracked it.
“Ha!”
Shouma stared at her. “Give me that.”
“NAH.” She took a hurried swallow and darted away from him.
“Get your ass back here!”
She laughed and headed toward the stairs.
“Don’t run!” Shouma yelled as he moved towards her. She ignored him, and started running up the stairs. “Yoshino, don’t run on the fucking stairs!”
By the time he reached the second floor, she’d disappeared into the bedroom on the left. Shouma stopped in the doorway. It was his room. Yoshino had apparently forgotten which room he’d assigned her. She placed the half-finished drink on the bedside table and began pulling off her clothes, muttering something about how uncomfortable her jeans had become.
“Yoshino.”
She kicked off her sandals.
“Before you get into bed, put on your pajamas.”
“No.”
“Yoshino, I’m not playing this game with you.”
She pulled her shirt over her head. Shouma immediately turned toward the hallway. “For fuck’s sake.”
Yoshino laughed and climbed onto the bed, still wearing the red lace lingerie Tsubaki had purchased for her. “This bed is comfortable.”
“Put something on.”
“I’m going to sleep.”
“Then get under the covers.”
“Come sit with me.”
Shouma stood in the doorway for another moment before walking over to the bed. He retrieved the can from the bedside table and placed it out of her reach. Yoshino watched him. “Wooooow, you’re such a thief.”
“You’ll thank me tomorrow.”
“BOOOOORING. Why do you have to be so boring right now?”
He pulled a chair closer to the bed, sat down, and rested his forearms on his knees. Yoshino rolled onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows.
“Why are you sitting over there?”
“Because this is where the chair is.”
“You’re so difficult.”
“Go to sleep.”
She ignored him and reached toward his hair. Shouma felt her fingers brush the back of his head. She caught a few strands between them and began absently playing with the ends. He didn’t move away. Yoshino had done this occasionally when they were younger, usually when she was bored and wanted his attention. He remembered sitting beside her on the veranda at the main house while she complained about school or argued with him over something inconsequential, her fingers wandering into his hair whenever he stopped responding.
“You haven’t smoked since we left the party,” she observed.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good.”
“Mm.”
“Are you trying to quit?”
“Thinking about it.”
“You should.” She continued playing with his hair for a little while before another question occurred to her. “Hey, who was that girl at the convenience store?”
Shouma closed his eyes. “Here we go.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Kanomiya, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you know her?”
“Kyoto’s not that big.”
“Bro, DO NOT give me that. That’s such a cop out.” He looked over his shoulder. Yoshino smiled sweetly. “I want to know~~~”
“Why?”
“Because she looked like she wanted to strangle me when you said I was with you.”
“Then you should’ve left her alone.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m asking how you know her.”
Shouma sighed and turned forward again. “Her father’s a police chief.”
Yoshino stopped moving her fingers. “Oh?”
“I met her through him.”
“And?”
“And nothing.”
“Dude c’mooooon.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “She knew things I needed to know. Sometimes she’d tell me when her father was looking into something that involved our people.”
Yoshino frowned. “So you were friends?”
“We dated.”
She stared at him. “You dated the police chief’s daughter?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you insane?”
“No. Your grandfather is insane. I didn’t think it was a good idea, but I came to find out that when police are crooks, our own gumi is more upstanding, which I guess is leverage Renji knew about before I found out about anything.”
Yoshino sat up slightly. “Wow.” She looked at him for a moment, considering what he’d said.
“Wait. You dated her because of her father?”
Shouma nodded.
Yoshino’s expression changed. “Did she know that?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
“What?”
“That’s awful.”
He glanced back at her. “She wanted a boyfriend. I needed information. It worked for a while.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
“Didn’t say it did.”
Yoshino fell quiet. Shouma had never been particularly sentimental about his relationships. She knew he’d dated women before, although he rarely discussed them, and she’d never bothered asking for details. Hearing him describe one of those relationships so casually, however, left her unexpectedly unsettled. “Did you actually like her?” she asked.
“No.”
“Not even a little?”
“Yoshino, trust when I say these things. I ain’t ever liked any of my exes.”
She lowered her gaze toward the bed. “Then why bother doing all the boyfriend stuff?”
“Because that’s what she wanted.”
“And you just went along with it?”
“Yeah.”
Yoshino frowned at the back of his head. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Probably not.”
“You’re not even going to argue with me?”
“Wouldn’t change anything. I’m really over this conversation.”
She sighed and leaned against the pillows. For a while, neither spoke. Shouma remained in the chair while Yoshino watched him, her fingers resting against the edge of the mattress.
Then she said, “I wouldn’t want somebody dating me because they needed something.”
“I know.”
“I’d rather they just tell me the truth.”
“Not everybody wants the truth.”
“Then they’re idiots.”
Shouma remained quiet. Yoshino looked toward the window. The alcohol had made her thoughts less orderly than usual, but there was something about the conversation that continued bothering her. “You know what’s annoying?”
“What?”
“You’ve actually been on dates.”
He glanced back. “So?”
“So I haven’t.”
“You’ve gone out with people.”
“That’s not the same.”
“Why not?”
“Because going somewhere with someone doesn’t automatically make it a date.”
Shouma turned slightly in his chair. “Then what’s a date supposed to be?”
Yoshino stared at him. “Are you seriously asking me?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve dated people!”
“And?”
“And you’re asking the girl who’s never had a proper date to explain it?”
He shrugged.
Yoshino sighed, “I just want to know what it’s like when somebody actually wants to take you somewhere because they like you.”
Shouma watched her for a moment. “We go places together.”
“That’s different.”
Shouma got up from the chair, and sat on the floor facing Yoshino, “How so?”
“Because we’re us.”
He didn’t answer. Yoshino gestured vaguely between them. “We’ve always done things together. Dinner, shopping, driving around. That’s normal for us.”
“Yoshino, you do realize that sounds like a date. Not that we are dating but you were asking and that’s your answer.”
She gave him an incredulous look. “Shouma.”
“What?”
“So then you’re saying that we’ve been dating.”
“No.” Although he wasn’t particularly interested in explaining the similarity and distinction, the thought lingered.
Yoshino shifted closer to the edge of the bed, studying him. “Do you ever think about me that way?”
His gaze lifted. “What way?”
“As a woman.”
Shouma looked at her properly for the first time since she’d changed. His eyes lingered on her face before he deliberately returned his attention to the chair beside him. “Yoshino, you’re drunk.”
“I’m aware.”
“Then don’t start.”
She frowned. “I’m asking you a question.”
“And I’m telling you now, if you want to ask me that, do it when you’re sober.”
Yoshino watched him for a moment. Ordinarily, she might have argued, but there was something unusually firm about his expression. “Fine,” she muttered.
She pulled the sheet over herself.
Shouma stood and moved the chair back toward the wall.
“Get some sleep.”
“Wait.”
He stopped. Yoshino shifted onto her side. “Can you stay for a little while?”
He looked at her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know. I mean here.” She patted the empty space beside her. “Just until I fall asleep.”
Shouma hesitated, then sat on the edge of the mattress, remaining on top of the covers.
Yoshino smiled faintly. “See? Was that so difficult?”
“No, but we both need to go to sleep.”
She laughed under her breath and settled against the pillow. “Tell me something.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything.”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
“I can listen with my eyes closed.”
Shouma considered that for a moment. “Your grandfather called me yesterday.”
Yoshino opened one eye. “What did he want?”
“Asked whether I’d finished getting everything ready for Monday.”
“And?”
“Told him I had.”
“That’s boring.”
“You asked me to tell you something. My life is pretty uneventful, Yoshino.”
She smiled and closed her eyes again. “Something else.”
Shouma looked toward the window as he settled himself next to Yoshino. For a while, he said nothing. Then he began humming quietly, an old melody Yoshino recognized from years ago. She couldn’t remember where she’d first heard it, although she associated it with evenings at the Somei residence when she was younger. She shifted closer. Shouma continued humming, keeping his attention on the window as her head came to rest against his arm. A few minutes passed before Yoshino moved again, settling against his side with the absent familiarity of someone who had never considered that he might object. Shouma went still. Her cheek rested against his chest, and one of her hands had caught loosely in the fabric of his shirt. He looked down at her, but her eyes were already closed. He adjusted his position carefully so she wouldn’t be lying at an uncomfortable angle.
Yoshino made a sleepy sound. “Shouma?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t leave yet.”
“I’m not.”
She settled again. He remained beside her, listening as her breathing gradually became even. His hand rested lightly against her upper arm, and when a strand of hair fell across her face, he moved it aside. He had known Yoshino for years. He knew how she behaved when she was angry, how stubborn she became when someone tried to make decisions for her, and how quickly she could recognize when somebody was hiding something, especially him. She had always been comfortable around him, even during periods when she barely tolerated anyone else. Tonight, however, he’d found himself unusually conscious of the distance between them.
Her question remained unanswered.

Do you ever think about me that way?

Shouma looked toward the darkened window. He could have answered her. There were plenty of things he could have said, although he doubted any of them would have come out the way he intended. Instead, he’d told her to ask when she was sober. That was probably the first sensible decision he’d made all evening. Yoshino shifted in her sleep, and his arm tightened reflexively around her.
She stirred. “Shouma…”
He loosened his hold immediately. “Sorry.”
“Don’t squeeze me,” she mumbled.
“Wasn’t trying to…go to sleep.”
She made a faint sound of disagreement before falling quiet again. Shouma stayed until he was certain she was asleep. Then he eased himself away, supporting her head with one hand while he adjusted the pillow beneath it. Yoshino frowned in her sleep but didn’t wake. He pulled the sheet over her shoulders and checked that the water he’d left on the bedside table was within reach.
For a moment, he stood beside the bed. Her maroon hair had spread across the pillow, and her expression was peaceful in a way he hadn’t seen often during her time in Tokyo. He remembered how exhausted she’d looked during some of their phone calls, even when she insisted everything was fine. He reached toward her hair, then stopped himself and withdrew his hand.
“Goodnight, Yoshino.”
She didn’t respond. Shouma switched off the light and closed the bedroom door behind him.
Before going to bed, he checked the locks downstairs and made sure the garage was secured. He also went up to the third floor to close the terrace door, which Yoshino had left unlocked during their tour. When he returned to the second floor, the house was quiet. He brushed his teeth, changed into his boxers, and went into the smaller bedroom across the hall. The room was sparsely furnished, containing little more than a bed and a dresser. Shouma switched off the lamp and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling while the distant sound of a passing car drifted through the window. He should have been tired. They had spent most of the evening out, and he still needed to retrieve his motorcycle the following morning. Instead, he found himself thinking about the conversation in his bedroom. Yoshino had asked him a question he wasn’t prepared to answer, although not because he didn’t know what to say. He turned onto his side.
The problem was that Yoshino had always been different from the women he’d dated. There had never been anything particularly complicated about those relationships. He understood what was expected of him and rarely allowed himself to become invested beyond that. With Yoshino, even the smallest decisions seemed to matter.
He’d spent years looking after her without thinking much about it. When she needed him, he came. When she wanted to go somewhere, he drove. It had become such an ordinary part of his life that he rarely considered how much of his time revolved around her. He knew that would continue whether or not she ever looked at him differently. Shouma reached toward the bedside table, where he’d left his cigarettes, and turned the pack over in his hand. He considered lighting one before remembering Yoshino’s pleased expression when she’d noticed he hadn’t smoked all evening. He put the pack down. Across the hall, she was sleeping in his bed, probably unaware of half the things she’d said tonight. He wondered whether she’d remember asking him that question in the morning.
Ask me when you’re sober.
He closed his eyes. He’d meant it. Whether she’d have the nerve to ask again was another matter.
Shouma shifted beneath the covers and settled against the pillow. After a while, the house grew completely still, and he finally fell asleep.

CHAPTER 6 ->